FRIENDSHIP CONFLICTS
She was the keeper of my secrets, the shoulder on which I could cry, and my best friend. Her phone number, along with the nickname I gave her, is still saved on my phone. We haven’t spoken in a long time. I still want to run to her whenever something goes wrong, but I’m unable to do so.
By the end of our college years, there had been far too many misunderstandings. Then we had a college farewell, which I assume was also the end of our friendship.
I miss her so much and wish I could talk to her, but I don’t know how. We can’t possibly cover the distance between us.
I’m having trouble sleeping, and I’m constantly thinking about how I could have done something wrong to her. I couldn’t attend the university to which we had agreed without her. Every day, it gets more difficult. Is there anyone who understands what I’m saying?
We are wired for connection as social beings, and friendship is one of the most important bonds that satisfies this need for emotional connection. Friendship is one of the most important aspects of our lives, and it has a significant impact on our health and happiness. Friendships provide us with care and love, which enriches our lives.
Friendship can also aid in the treatment of mental illnesses. Friends are a person’s most important source of support. A true friend can assist in gaining confidence that things will improve and that solutions to our problems exist.
Friendships, like all other types of relationships, have highs and lows.
Factors that lead to soreness in Friendships
- Miscommunication
- Time Limitation
- Priorities
- Physical separation
- Ego-clashes
Friendship conflicts can arise from differences in personal values, ideas, and opinions, among other things. When differences become conflicts, it indicates that there is a critical need that has not been met.
When certain needs, such as the desire for connection or belonging, as well as the desire to be loved, respected, and valued, are not met in any friendship, it can lead to conflicts and problems.
Other Reasons
We are constantly competing to be a better person in today’s world, aspiring to be the best in our careers, jobs, and achievements. This competitiveness frequently obstructs our genuine relationships with our friends. We frequently become competitive with our friends, resulting in an emotional disconnect
Another source of friendship conflict is when two friends develop feelings for the same person. This creates an uncomfortable situation and causes jealousy among friends.
When two friends are separated physically due to a move for higher education or a job, this space can become fertile ground for growing differences due to hectic schedules, less quality time, and a lack of communication for days, weeks, or months. This could be because friends miss each other but are unable to connect and communicate as often as they once did. This may lead one to believe that the friendship is not the same or that the other person does not value and importance the friendship.
When we transition from one stage of our lives to the next, such as from high school to college or from a job to a career, we must make numerous adjustments. Our way of life, routine, and so on have all changed dramatically. This can be exhausting, and it can even harm friendships.
Benefits of Therapeutic Approach
Having friends is important to us, but many of us find it difficult to make new friends. It could be due to emotional hesitancy, negative past experiences, or a period of adjustment. In order to build emotionally secure and healthy friendships, therapy can help us understand our ideas about friendship and equip ourselves with healthy communication and effective conflict resolution skills.
There are ebbs and flows in any relationship, and communication breakdowns can occur as a result of a traumatic experience or an unpleasant incident. Communication breakdowns must be acknowledged and resolved. It is critical to express your emotions, no matter how difficult, in order to clear up any misunderstandings. Honest communication about expectations keeps the relationship strong. It also ensures that the relationship is based on complete acceptance and trust.
We may be feeling emotionally overwhelmed at the moment, and our friend may be unaware of our feelings or their intensity, or may be unavailable for support due to external factors. This could give the impression that they are no longer invested in the friendship. A therapist can assist in making sense of such situations, providing support and empathy in times of crisis, and determining the best course of action.
During an argument, we are often experiencing and expressing anger, frustration, emotional pain, and disappointment to our friend(s), and we may say hurtful things that may inflict pain and break the bond. A therapist can assist us in reflecting on, processing, and expressing our emotions in a healthy way.
Friendship, in its ideal form, is something that brings happiness and joy into our lives. A friend is someone we can count on as part of our support system during difficult times. However, when a toxic friendship becomes toxic, it can be a source of stress and emotional distress. When boundaries are not respected, our opinions and values are not taken into account, and one person is either dominating or ridiculing, it can become toxic. Toxic friends also criticize you in the most unhealthy way possible.
When we are in a romantic relationship, our friendships may be harmed inadvertently. It can be difficult to devote the same amount of time, effort, and energy to all of our relationships, especially when we have recently found a partner. It’s even more difficult if there’s a conflict between our partner and our friends, forcing us to choose between them. We can learn how to navigate such situations with effective communication, appropriate boundary setting, and time and emotional energy allocation through therapy.