Family Conflicts
A girl’s family has been pressurizing her to marry recently. Her engagement has been set up with a man she doesn’t know. She doesn’t feel connected to him, but no matter how hard she tries, her father insists on focusing on the family’s social image, prestige, and arranged marriage traditions. Her mother, who has always deferred to her father and never formed or expressed her own opinion, encourages her to do the same. Personal choice, freedom, and happiness are trumped by the image of a perfect, respectable family for them. Her elder brother, who has been married for 7 years, makes her even more depressed when he says” I have made my peace with it. You will too eventually”
I wish I could just flee from this house.”
“I can’t take it any longer.”
She has these same thoughts every day, along with her mother’s critical, nagging voice. Within those four walls, she feels suffocated. Every time she enters her house, her father’s indifference greets her. Her father and she have a formal cordial relationship. It makes no difference whether he is present or not. Her coaching session’s timing is the only time she gets away from it all.
A family is like a system, with each member playing an important role. Every family has its own way of communicating, bonding, and behaving toward one another. Conflict can arise when family members hold opposing viewpoints or beliefs, making reaching an agreement difficult. When people misunderstand each other and jump to the wrong conclusion, conflict can arise. Arguments and resentment can result from conflicts that are not resolved peacefully.
It’s natural for people to disagree with one another from time to time. Conflict is a natural part of family life. Ongoing conflict, on the other hand, can be stressful and damaging to relationships. Some people struggle to control their emotions and become intentionally hurtful, aggressive, or even violent as a result.
Family Organization
Nuclear vs. joint families is a common categorization of families. They differ in terms of rules, norms, member autonomy, and communication patterns.
Nuclear Family
Because parents are children's primary sources of socialisation, a stronger parent-child relationship is desirable.
There is less pressure to conform to social norms.
In a nuclear family, children's psychological development is primarily influenced by parental love and sibling bonding.
The family structure is quite simple when there are fewer family members.
Joint Family
Greater socialisation provides a foundation for the development of good social skills.
Hold greater cultural and religious significance, putting pressure on people to conform
In a joint family, children's psychological development is also influenced by the affectionate bond that exists between two generations.
• The structure is quite complex due to the large number of family members.
SOURCES OF FAMILY CONFLICTS
Family conflict, according to Coser (1956), is a “struggle over values and claims to scarce status, power, and resources in which the opponents’ goals are to neutralise, injure, or eliminate the rival.” Conflict in the family can be caused by a variety of factors. A few of these are discussed further down.
One of the most common causes of family conflict is a lack of financial resources. This can be a direct cause of fights and arguments, and it can even lead to family abuse and violence.
This refers to a form of jealousy, competition, and enmity between siblings in young children. After the birth of a second child, sibling rivalry emerges, and parents unintentionally lead to deferred treatment of their children. If the child’s needs are not met, it may have an impact on their future work and romantic relationships.
When it comes to parenting, both parents and other family members (in the case of a joint family) may have opposing viewpoints, which can lead to a disagreement. Other parents may not agree with one parent’s strict approach to teaching discipline to their children
The generational gap, which is exacerbated these days by technological advancement, differences in education levels, culture, and globalisation, causes many differences among family members.
Any family conflict or dysfunction signals a problem with the parts/subsystems. Communication patterns among family members are a major cause of problems in the family system, as discussed.
What Does Family Counseling Enable Us To Understand ?
In the family, a consensual communication pattern allows for open communication and conversations. It does, however, expect members to follow the rules. Although parents make the final decision, open discussions can help other family members see things from a different perspective.
Families with a pluralistic approach are more open to conversations and interactions. They don’t exist to achieve conformity. All members are treated equally, have an equal say, and disagreements are not viewed negatively. Children from such families are self-assured and capable of making decisions.
Families who take a protective approach aren’t interested in having conversations or interacting with one another. They don’t exist to achieve conformity. All members are treated equally, have an equal say, and disagreements are not viewed negatively. Children from such families are self-assured and capable of making decisions.
Some families do not function in a way that is conducive to conversation or conformity. Family members are aloof and uninterested. There aren’t many arguments in the family, and everyone is free to do whatever they want. In such families, children do not learn the value of actual conversation. Families with a laissez-faire attitude are known as Laissez-faire.
It is critical to have healthy boundaries in the family. Each family member should be able to express and communicate his or her likes and dislikes. Families with enmeshed boundaries, which means too much interference from other family members in one’s life, disrupt the balance.
Some family members, such as parents, may exert pressure and control over their children’s lives, including making major decisions for them. These are the telltale signs of a lack of healthy boundaries.
Some teenagers succumb to peer pressure in order to feel like they belong – they want to be liked, appreciated, and a part of the group. Second, they are afraid of being singled out if they do not conform to the group’s expectations. Another reason could be that they want to try something new that other people are doing.
Many married women find it difficult to adjust to their mother-in-law and matrimonial family. This could have an impact on couple dynamics as well. They are under pressure to meet expectations and, at times, to adapt to changes in cultural values such as lifestyle, eating habits, and additional roles and responsibilities. Counseling assists them in developing constructive communication skills and maintaining healthy boundaries in their relationships.