FEAR OF JUDGEMENT
Tips to care less on people’s Judgement :
We used to be free in the true sense of the word as children, free from societal pressures, inhibitions, and judgement, and creatures of our own whims and fancies. As we get older, we become more aware of each and every action we take. Every one of our actions is preceded by the question:
What Will Others Think of It?
Why is it that the fear of being judged by others prevents us from expressing our true selves?
When we see the criticism and ridicule directed at those who dared to stand out from the crowd, we may become alienated from our usual self, our idiosyncrasies, and our opinions.
Why do we fear being judged?
Self-doubt makes us more vulnerable to criticism and judgement. When we believe that others are better/superior to us, criticism feels like a personal attack on our self-esteem. Otherwise, we’d dismiss it as “their opinion,” rather than believing it to be true about us.
When we are externally motivated, that is, when we achieve goals to compete or impress others and seek validation from them, we tend to take their opinions personally because we value them so highly
Constant comparison with our parents, family members, or peers can have a negative impact on our self-esteem. Lack of appreciation and support can have a negative impact on our self-esteem
When we are going through a difficult time in our lives, we are more vulnerable to the judgement of others because we are struggling with self-doubt and a lack of direction, so we feel belittled by other people’s perceptions of us.
Fear of judgement is deeply ingrained in our consciousness during the socialisation process. Even the most self-assured individuals are enslaved by this fear, indicating that the reasons for this fear are not superficial but rather fundamental. All of our learning has been based on the carrot-stick approach, which states that in order to receive rewards, love, a sense of belonging, and appreciation, we must behave in a certain way or face the consequences of punishment, ridicule, or rejection. As a result, we are programmed to conform in some ways.
How do you get over your fear of being judged?
Having a high opinion of oneself allows us to be more objective when confronted with criticism. Rather than seeing it as a personal attack on our self-esteem, we see it as constructive criticism.
Having a burning passion and a sense of accomplishment drowns out other people’s criticisms. We’re so focused on improving ourselves and having a clear sense of purpose that other people’s opinions don’t bother us.
Having a close circle of people who are always encouraging, supportive, and appreciative of our abilities and potential helps us to feel confident in our abilities and potential.
When we teach our children right from wrong, we should go one step further and explain why we expect them to follow certain behaviors. This allows them to ask questions and gain a better understanding of why they should follow what society considers appropriate. This enables them to make better decisions about important life decisions in the future.
Why Should We Value Other People's Opinions
It’s critical to consider why we should value other people’s opinions.
We inadvertently feel a sense of belonging in being indistinct and fearful of standing out in a world that celebrates conformity because following a crowd is so comfortable and widely accepted. We can’t avoid being judged, but we can avoid allowing others to define who we are.
At such times, we must remember that judgement is an unavoidable part of life in this competitive world. While we have no control over how others evaluate us, we do have control over how we respond to it.